literature

Deadly Kiss

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Ky1ieSmy1ie's avatar
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Literature Text

She fell in love with his vicious lips.

Got trapped into his deadly kiss.

She loved to play with dangerous things,

But didn't know how much pain it would bring.

His smile caught her playful eyes,

She didn't know that smile held so many lies.

He was so perfect, in so many ways.

They're love lasted for only a few short days.

Now she lays,

Cold.

Dead.

In that casket bed.

She never listened to the warnings, or what we said.

You could see those bite marks on her neck by her veins,

I can't imagine all the emotional pain.

I let her slip right through my fingers,

And now her presence always lingers.

She was playful, sweet, and loving, but now that's all in the past.

She went away and died so fast..

His love was strong but his temptation worse.

Then again he had to live with that horrible curse.

He couldn't help it, and I could see the pain in his face,

And now that sweet girls in a better place..
This is sort of a playful poem :P
Vampires! hehe
Enjoy!
© 2011 - 2024 Ky1ieSmy1ie
Comments15
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merrak's avatar
This was in my old critique thread. The critique option seems to be disabled. It is a neat poem, though :) I like the rhythm you have set up - it flows nicely. The break of rhythm in the middle is interesting - the revelation that the narrator is a vampire seems to jump out here. The break seems to emphasize that.

The only "problem" I see (if you want to call it that) is it reminds me a lot of Twilight. Whether that is good or bad is up to you - but it is probably worth noting. Anything about vampires and romance will be automatically compared to that book as long as it is popular.